Library

Welcome to the OPAN Library. Please feel free to browse the library lists below. To borrow books, you must become an OPAN member simply by registering on the site. Membership/registration is FREE.

Charges:

Special: 1 book = $5, which covers postage and handling, plus postage-paid return envelope and library operation charge.
Special: 2 books = $8, 3 books = $9, covers postage and handling, plus postage-paid return envelope and library operation charge. Limit of 3 books.
Please deposit your fee into the OPAN account: BNZ 0139-0055372-000.
Please include your name, what the payment is for and a current telephone number.
Then email your book request(s) to Library@opan.org.nz, confirming you have deposited your fee.
Please include your postal address.
The loan period is 6 weeks. Lost books will be invoiced, including a processing charge.

Notes:

Please be aware that while we will try to process your book request ASAP, we are a very much a volunteer organisation, so your patience is appreciated. If you haven’t received a response from us or received your books within 10 days, please feel free to send us a “friendly” reminder.
We would like to thank Roanne Stout (former OPAN Librarian) for her efforts cataloguing and reviewing the OPAN library books.
If you have any suggestions for book, magazines or multimedia purchases, please contact: Library@opan.org.nz.
If you would like to get involved in the OPAN library, we would love some extra hands/ideas on board. Please contact: Library@opan.org.nz.

Childrens Books for Younger Children

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adopted Like Me by Jeffrey LaCure The Adoption Advocate Publishing Company, US, 1992	This book follows the story of Ben E.’s adoption, including the decision-making process of the birthparents. At the age of four, Ben E. asks his parents to adopt a baby sister, but by his third year of school no baby sister has arrived and Ben E. is wondering why he has never met someone who was adopted like him. Then he makes a new friend who turns out to be “adopted like me”.	Yes
Adoption is for Always by Linda Walvoord Girard Albert Whitman & Company, Illinois, US, 1986	“But …I want you and mummy to be my only mummy and daddy.!” Celia is frustrated and upset when she realises for the first time that she is adopted. As she gradually discovers the bits and pieces of her story, she begins to understand not only why her birthmother gave her up, but also that her adoptive parents will be her mummy and daddy for always.	Yes
Adoption – What’s Happening by Karen Bryant-Mole Wayland, UK, (ages 5–8) 1992	It tells the experiences that other children and families have of adoption. Seeing how other people have felt about being adopted and how they have dealt with their feelings. It is hoped it will help others work out how they feel as well.	Yes
A Family for Jamie by Suzanne Bloom Clarkson N Potter, Inc, New York, US, 1991	This book follows Molly and Dan through the entire adoption process; from their anticipation of the happy times coming to the joyous day that baby Jamie joins their family. It presents the story of an adoption from the parents’ point of view. It illustrates for children why their parents wanted to adopt them. A Family for Jamie was written by the author for her own children. It is part of her family’s ongoing conversations about their adoptions.	Yes
A Koala for Katie: An Adoption Story by Jonathan London Albert Whitman & Company, US, (ages 3-8) 1993	Katie, a young adoptee, is curious about babies and where they come from. On a family outing to the zoo, she wonders what would happen if a baby koala suddenly lost its mother. Her parents explain that the zoo would try to find a new mother, just as the adoption agency found parents for Katie when her birth parents were unable to care for her. In the gift shop, Katie’s parents purchase a stuffed koala for her. She adopts the stuffed bear and uses it to act out her concerns about her own parentage.	Yes
All About Me by Lynn Burwash & Cie McMullin Printnet, Canada, US, (ages 0-6) 1998	A simple, direct book designed as a tool for adoptive parents to help their young kids understand what being adopted means. The best thing about this book is its wonderful interactive quality. Parents and children personalise the story by filling in the blank words and pictures as they read (assistance can be graded for different skill levels) and it the pages are wipe able for reuse. There is a nice simple analogy with the adoption of pets which I particularly liked (non-pet lovers may not agree!!). Whilst birth mums are included as part of the story, those with contact with extended birth family may find the framework of this story restrictive. Also, a place to list a child’s special characteristics may have presented a more wholistic, or balanced view of self (there are many things that make each child special, not only the fact that they’re adopted). A good option for those who haven’t completed life books, or a fun alternative for kids within this age group. I look forward to getting out the crayons and using this with our daughter.	Yes
All Families are Different by Sol Gordon (PB) Prometheus Books, New York, US, (ages 7 and up) 2000	This book broadens the definition of families. It is aimed at helping young people understand and appreciate that when it comes to families- they are all different. The author discusses a variety of different family situations to stimulate awareness and acceptance. There is an emphasis on the importance of children knowing they are loved by their family members- whomever they may be.	Yes
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza Puffin Books, NY, US, (ages 2–5) 1992	Choco is a little yellow bird who wishes he had a mother. He decides to search for a mother, first he asks Mrs giraffe, but she is not Choco’s mother – she doesn’t have wings like he does. None of the animals seem to be right for Choco until he finds Mrs Bear. Mrs Bear listens to Choco’s story. She gives Choco kisses and hugs, and they dance, sing and laugh together. Mrs Bear then asks Choco if she can be his mother.	Yes
Beginnings - How Families Come to Be by Virginia Kroll Albert Whitman & Company, Illinois, US, (ages 2-6) 1994	This is six little stories about how different families were formed. The first is about a child born and raised by her parents, the other 5 are adoption stories. One of the stories is a family adoption, another is about adopting a child with a physical disability, another has two chidren, and one has one child. It is told from the adoptive parent perspective.	Yes
Benjamin’s Story, Being an E.S.P. (Extra Special Person)	An adoptive parent’s personal booklet she made for her son that can be used as a model for those who would like to do the same.	Yes
Brown Like Me by Noelle Lamperti New Victoria Publishers Inc, Vermont, US, (ages 3-7), 1976	A young African-American girl named Noelle is encouraged by her white adoptive family to seek out the beauty of being brown-skinned…the result is a book which encourages youngsters to celebrate themselves and the diversity around them. This strong but simple message is presented in a way that ages 3-7 should easily comprehend and enjoy.	Yes
Families Are Different by Nina Pellegrini Holiday House, New York, US, (ages 3-7) 1991	Nico and Angel her sister came from Korea when they were babies. They’re adopted. Nico doesn’t like to look different. Then her mum tells her that “there are different kinds of families, glued together with special kind of glue called love.” Nico looks around, and realises that families are different. Children can live with one parent, two parents, or with grandparents. They can have step brothers, step sisters, or parents that don’t look alike. Now Nico doesn’t feel so bad. She’s just like everyone else – she’s different.	Yes
Families are Forever by Craig Shemin As Simple As That, New York, US (ages 2 -7) 2003	This is an International adoption story. It is told by the adopted child herself who is 5 and ¾ years old. The last page reads; “That’s my story. You know what I learned? A family is special and each one is different. And some sisters and brothers may not look like their fathers and mothers. But that doesn’t matter, what does matter is this: Families are forever. It’s as simple as that!”	Yes
Horace by Holly Keller Greenwillow Books, NY, US, (ages 2-5) 1991	Every night Mama told Horace the same story. It began, “We chose you when you were a tiny baby because you had lost your first family and needed a new one.” But every night Horace fell asleep before Mama had finished. Horace has spots, like a leopard, and his family has strips like tigers. Horace goes to find a family that looks like him, where he thought he belongs. Horace found a family like him but at the end of the day he wanted to go home. At the end he says, “If you chose me, can I choose you, too?	Yes
How I was Adopted by Joanna Cole Mulberry Books, Morrow Junior Books, NY, US, (ages2-6) 1995	This story is a happy one. It tells about the anticipation of a couple as they wait to become parents and of the joy they feel when their child finally arrives. It shows a lively little girl, nurtured by parents who love her and enjoy helping her grow up. It conveys the sense that adoption is just one way or making a family, that the love in an adoptive family is the same as that in any family. It ends saying; “Every girl who was adopted has her own story. Every boy who was adopted has his own story. Do you know the story of how you were adopted?” This ending creates a great opportunity to discuss your child’s own adoption story. It has been criticised for being too smiley and only covering the positives, therefore reinforcing the idea that a child has to be cheerful, no matter what, with no room to discuss other feelings. Also the birthmother is represented as a textbook birthing uterus and it does not mention any feelings a birthmother may have. Although the above are true, I still like the simplicity of the book and when read along with other books, this is a good adoption book showing family love.	Yes
I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A Kitze EMK Press, NY, US, (ages 2-6) 2003	“I don’t have your eyes … but I have your way of looking at things..” Celebrating the differences within their families as well as the similarities that connect them, is the foundation for belonging. As parents we can strengthen our children’s tie to family and embrace the differences that make them unique. Each children has their own story and their own special place to belong. The message is “In our hearts we are the same”. The children’s pencil drawings are cute.	Yes
Just because I Am- A Child’s Book of Affirmation by Lauren Murphy Payne free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (ages 3-8) 1994	Little ones learn that they are special “not because of the things I do, not because of what I look like, not because of what I have…just because I am” They learn to respect their bodies and acknowledge their needs. They name their own feelings and discover everyone makes mistakes.	Yes
Little Miss Spider by David Kirk Callaway in association with Hodder Children’s books Australia, 1999		Yes
Oliver by Lois Wickstrom Our Child Press, Hong Kong, (ages 3-7) 1991	Little Lizard Oliver gets into trouble while playing pirate by falling from a tree. But unlike most kids, he’s adopted and when his parents scold him, he thinks they’re unfair to him simply because they’re not his birthparents. While being grounded to his room, Oliver imagines what it would be like to live with his birthparents. They might be fire-fighters, they might work in a skyscraper office building, they might be scientists, they might be astronauts. But when they are so great, why didn’t his birthparents keep him? Lovely simple story with a happy ending. I love how the story finally concludes that most kids – adopted or not- imagine other lives they could be having, especially when they are angry with their parents. This book is perhaps more aimed at boys (Lizard, Pirate, Fire-fighters, Scientists…).	Yes
One Wonderful You by Francie Portnoy The Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, US (ages 3-6) 1997	This book is in black and white with large clear print and pencil drawings. It starts with saying all the ways people are unique and then says you are unique because you are adopted. “You are unique because it took two families to make one you”. “You are who you are because of all the wonderful things you were born with (from your birth family) and because of all the great stuff your adoptive family gave you”. It explains your genetic traits and the identity and things you get from your adoptive family.	Yes
Our Baby: A Birth and Adoption Story by Janice Koch Perspectives Press, US, 1985	This book explains how babies are created by birth parents and how some parents adopt babies to be their very own. It is designed to be personalised with places to put your child’s name and birth details, and photographs.	Yes
Our Twitchy by Kes Gray and Mary Mc Quillan Henry Holt and Company, NY, US, (ages 3-6) 2003	This book has a simple message of belonging to your family, using animals as the characters. Twitchy, a rabbit, wonders why he’s not like his parents, a cow and a horse. Twitchy discovers his parents are his real parents. Great colourful pictures.	Yes
Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy? Where Some Babies Come From by Elaine R. Gordon EM Greenberg Press, Inc, US, 1992	Children deserve to know the truth about their life beginning and they should see their beginnings as natural. It covers the different ways that families can come about, e.g., naturally, by different fertility treatments, surrogacy, and adoption. This book is designed to help parents discuss the topics of birth origins with sensitivity and honesty. It provides families with a tool.	Yes
My Special Family – Priya’s Book About Her Adoption by Carol & Malcolm Miller (OPAN Members) 2002	Their own personalised story for their child, a guide for other parents to write their own adoption stories.	Yes
Rosie’s Family- An Adoption Story by Lori Rosove Asia Press, Ontario, Canada, (ages 3 to 8) 2001	Rosie’s Family is a story about belonging in a family regardless of differences. Rosie is a Beagle who was adopted by Schnauzers. He loves his family, however at times he looks and feels different. Rosie asks lots of questions about being adopted and his mum and dad answer them in simple and loving ways. Some of the kids at school ask Rosie if she knows her REAL parents. Rosie asks her Dad if he is her real Dad. “He told me to lick his face. ‘Ooooh’ he said, that tickles. I am definitely real and we are definitely a real family forever. He explained that some people get confused about adoption and call birth parents the real parents. Dad says that my birth parents have a special place in my life because I was born to them. He thinks they were brave to let me have a new family even though it probably made them sad.” This book covers very well feelings that some children may have. Rosie does not have a relationship with her birth family, and she has siblings that are born into her family. It has enjoyable illustrations and a good Note for Parents section at the back.	Yes
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis Little Hippo, Scholastic Press, London, (ages 2-6) 1996 & 1999	3 copies available, 2 soft covers, 1 board book “Tell me again about the night I was born,” has a little girl telling her own adoption story in a joyous and loving way; the way she has heard her parents share this story so often. For example, “Tell me again about the first time you held me in your arms and called me your baby sweet. Tell me again how you cried happy tears. Tell me again how you carried me like a china doll all the way home and how you glared at anyone who sneezed.” This is one of the best children books available at present. Adults love the details within the illustrations.	Yes
The Colors of Us by Karen Katz Henry Holt, NY, US, (ages 2-7) 1999	Seven year old Lena is going to paint a picture of herself. She wants to use brown paint for her skin. But when she and her mother take a walk through the neighbourhood, Lena learns that brown comes in many shades. The colour of their friends skin is viewed in terms of food, eg, cinnamon, chocolate, honey, coffee, toffee, butterscotch, ginger, peachy, peanut butter, french toast, crispy pizza crust, Gorgeous pictures which are painted by Karen the author. She is also an illustrator, grahic designer and an adoptive mum. Not a specific adoption story, however a wonderful story that celebrates the differences and similarities that connect all people. Roanne Stout OPAN librarian September 2002	Yes
The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler Bradbury Press, New York, (ages 1 +) 1990	The author “has told a simple story that parents can easily personalise as they read it aloud…details to the story can be added as the child’s ability to understand adoption grows”. Gentle pastel drawings accompany the clear and precise narrative about a couple getting ready for an adopted child. “Grandma brought a teddy bear to keep you company. A friend gave us a quilt to cuddle you in.”	Yes
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn Child and Family Press, Washington, DC, US, (ages 2-6) 1993	This book is a story for children starting Kindergarten for the first time, and it attends to separation anxiety in a creative way. Chester the Racoon is reluctant to go, and his mother teaches him a secret way to carry her love with him. She kisses his hand and it tingles special warmth to his heart, cheeks and thoughts. He now knows his mother’s love will go with him wherever he is. Even to school. A parent can use a sticker on the child’s hand to remind them of their parent’s love.	Yes
The Little Green Goose by Adele Sansone North-South Books, Switzerland, (ages 2+) 1999.	Gentle Mr Goose loves children, but has none of his own. So he adopts an unusual egg, and cares devotedly for the strange green chick that hatches from it. As an adopted child, the chick worries about his identity, but he soon learns that he has what he needs most: a loving parent.	Yes
The Red Blanket by Eliza Thomas Scholastic Press, NY, US, (ages 2-6) 2004	This story is about woman who adopts a baby from China. It is a journey about the forming of a family. A cozy red blanket was bought with love before the child arrived and became the child’s most precious and special cuddly. Bright graphics.	Yes
The Skin I’m In- A first look at racism by Pat Thomas Hodder Children’s Books, Hodder Wayland, London, (ages 4-8) 2003	This book explores the difficult issue of racism. The fears, worries and questions surrounding this complex subject are explored in a simple and reassuring way. Young children can learn what racism is and how to beat racism in their own lives.	Yes
This is How we Became a Family- An Adoption Story by Wayne Willis Magination press, Washington, US, (ages 2-7) 2002	For the younger child who is just beginning to wonder “where did I come from?” and for the older children who want to be reminded how much they are cherished, this is an adoption story for all ages. Told in simple terms, it is a story of a couple who long for a child, of a pregnant young woman who is not ready to be a mother, and the events that bring them together for a happy ending.	Yes
Twice Upon-a-Time – Born and Adopted by Eleanora Patterson EP Press,Vermont, US, (ages 3-8) 1987	Twice-Upon-A-Time is a unique adoption resource for young children, 3-8 years, and their families. Conception, birth and curiosity about birth parents are discussed as part of adopted children's stories. The book encompasses diverse adoption experiences using a text and line drawings that are simple, direct and affirming.	Yes
We Can Get Along- A Child’s Book of Choices by Lauren Murphy Payne free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (ages 3-8 years) 1997	This book teaches skills like thinking before you speak or act, treat others the way you want to be treated, that you can make good choices and learning how to get along. The child is encouraged to use their own feelings as a guide to relating to others. It promotes peaceful behaviours and positive conflict resolution.	Yes
We Wanted You by Liz Rosenberg Roaring Brook Press, Connecticut, US, (ages 2-5) 2002	A husband and a wife want to become a father and a mother, so they decide to adopt a child. They wait a long time- hoping, watching, preparing. “We looked between the clouds and the mountains and the waves in the sea, and then, just in case, we made a quilt of pink and green and blue”. At long last the day arrives… and so does Enrique. With humour and love, We Wanted You tells the story of how two become three. It tells the child what he most wants to know: We wanted you so much back then, and we still do.	Yes
Who’s in a Family? by Robert Skutch Tricycle Press, California, US, 1995	Who’s in a family? The people who love you the most! A family can be made up in many different ways. Chances are, your family is like no one else’s – and that’s just fine. This book does not use the word adoption; however it can be easily applied.	Yes
Why Am I Different by Norma Simon Albert Whitman & Company, Illinois, US, (ages 2-6) 1976	This children’s book is about being different. One page covers adoption, “My baby sister is adopted. So am I. Do you think that makes us different? Maybe, but we love each other.” Another page covers being an only child. A good book to affirm our differences and uniqueness, in very simple and basic terms.	Yes
W.I.S.E. Up Powerbook by Marilyn Schoettle C.A.S.E (The Center for Adoption Support and Education) US, (ages 5-12) 2000	All kids who were adopted get asked questions about adoption. Whatever the reason- benign curiosity, ignorance, or intended insults adopted children need to know they have choices on how to respond. It is designed to work through with an adult, with practise activities included. It also helps children identify their feelings; such as, pride, joy, anger, frustration, embarrassment, confusion, and surprise. WISE stands for: • W = Walk away or choose not to pay attention • I = It’s private, you can choose who to tell • S = Share something, you can choose some information about your adoption • E = Educate, you can choose to educate others about adoption This book is a must, I well recommend it.	Yes
Words Are Not for Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US (ages I-5) 2004	This is for the younger age group it is a small board book. “What do hurtful words do? They hurt our ears. They hurt our feelings. If words do come out before you can stop them...Two other words need to be said: “I’m sorry”.”	Yes

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Childrens Books – Thinking About BirthParents

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Did My First Mother Love Me? A Story for an Adopted Child by Kathryn Ann Miller Morning Glory Press, US, 1994	“Did my first mother love me?” Morgan knows her adoptive mother and father love her dearly, but she wonders about her other parents. Did they love her too? Why did they decide to let her live with her adoptive parents? Morgan’s mum assures her that yes, her first mother loved her. Then she reads the letter Morgan’s birthmother wrote to her. “My dear child, the day I first learned about you was a very important day in my life. I learned I was going to have a baby. That baby was you…The love I felt for you was so strong.” Morgan’s birthmother describes the life she wants for her child, a life she can’t provide at that time. She concludes, “My dearest child, to your parents I have given the precious gift of you.” At the back there is a special section for Adoptive Parents with ideas for discussions.	Yes
My Special Family: A Children’s Book About Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber & Debra Marks Parels Open Adoption Press, US, 1993	2 Copies available A workbook for children of open adoption to help them understand their relationships with their adoptive parents and birthparents. This book is intended for you to fill in the gaps with details, photos, and thoughts of your child’s adoption. For example, everyone was nervous meeting for the first time. These are some of the things we talked about. My birthparents love me and this is how they have shown their love. Mummy and Daddy are my forever parents! We love each other very much. These are some of the fun things we do together: There is a helpful information guide for parents of pre-school children and school-age children who may or may not maintain contact with birthparents.	Yes
Never Never Never Will She Stop Loving You by Jolene Durrant Published by Jolene Durrant, UT, US, (ages 2-7) 1999	Written by an adoptive parent, a true story of a young woman called Annie, who cared for her unborn child and placed him for adoption only because it was best for him. It lovingly connects birth mum and child, while stressing the importance of the adoptive parents. It encourages you to fill in your own birth mums names to make it more personal for the child. There are some good notes for parents at the beginning. I found this section informative, “How can the public support the adoption process and birth mothers in particular?” It states most birth parents want and need to share their stories. “Today one of my friends said, ‘Do you ever think about your baby?’ It hurt because it’s more like, ‘Do I ever not think about my baby?” It offers 9 appropriate questions to ask birth mothers.	Yes
Sam’s Sister by Juliet C Bond Perspective Press, Inc, Indiana, US, (ages 4-7) 2004	Five- year -old Rosa becomes a big sister to a baby boy for whom their mother plans an open adoption because she cannot care for another child. It is an honest and heartfelt story. If you are a birthmother who also has children you are parenting, this book will be a good resource for your children.	Yes
The Mulberry Bird by Anne Braff Brodzinsky Perspectives Press, Indianapolis, US, (ages 5-10) 1996	This book follows a young single mum Mulberry bird who is struggling to raise her chick without supports. The story invites children to imagine what kinds of problems could be serious enough to cause a mother to consider adoption for a baby she loves."Why was I adopted, Why couldn’t my birthmother take care of me?” She eventually accepts Owl’s suggestion that she find another bird family to raise her baby. It demonstrates the struggle a birthmother has gone through because of her love for her child and the hope that the child’s life can be more fulfilled through adoption.	Yes
This is How we Became a Family- An Adoption Story by Wayne Willis Magination press, Washington, US, (ages 2-7) 2002	For the younger child who is just beginning to wonder “where did I come from?” and for the older children who want to be reminded how much they are cherished, this is an adoption story for all ages. Told in simple terms, it is a story of a couple who long for a child, of a pregnant young woman who is not ready to be a mother, and the events that bring them together for a happy ending.	Yes
Twice Upon-a-Time – Born and Adopted by Eleanora Patterson EP Press,Vermont, US, (ages 3-8) 1987	Twice-Upon-A-Time is a unique adoption resource for young children, 3-8 years, and their families. Conception, birth and curiosity about birth parents are discussed as part of adopted children's stories. The book encompasses diverse adoption experiences using a text and line drawings that are simple, direct and affirming.	Yes

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Childrens Books – Siblings (Biological and Adopted)

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Lucy’s Feet by Stephanie Stein, Perspective Press, US, 1992	A story of adoption through the eye of a child, Lucy’s Feet has been called a “zany, yet touching look at adoption”. Lucy is a spunky girl who plays soccer and loves to pirouette at ballet class, but who has some very real and important questions about being adopted, who is she like in the family? How come baby Elliott came from inside her mother and Lucy did not? Her family help Lucy with love, patience and humour (not to mention red toenail polish!) to deal with the conflict between nature and nurture of her life.	Yes
Sam’s Sister by Juliet C Bond, Perspective Press, Inc, Indiana, US, (ages 4-7) 2004	Five- year -old Rosa becomes a big sister to a baby boy for whom their mother plans an open adoption because she cannot care for another child. It is an honest and heartfelt story. If you are a birthmother who also has children you are parenting, this book will be a good resource for your children.	Yes
William Is My Brother by Jane T. Schnitter, Perspective Press, US, 1991	This book is about two boys with the same parents—Tony was born to them and Willam was adopted. It shows how very different and yet very alike they both are. The book addresses the concerns that many children in this situation may feel. William is My Brother helps to give children confidence that they are loved by their parents regardless of how they joined their family.	Yes

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Books for Preteens and Teens

Details	Description/Review	Available?
All Families are Different by Sol Gordon (PB) Prometheus Books, New York, US, (7 years and up) 2000	This book broadens the definition of families. It is aimed at helping young people understand and appreciate that when it comes to families- they are all different. The author discusses a variety of different family situations to stimulate awareness and acceptance. There is an emphasis on the importance of children knowing they are loved by their family members- whomever they may be.	Yes
Coping with Being Adopted by Shari Cohen The Rosen Publishing Group, New York, US, 1988	Adolescence is a tough time for everyone. For those who have been adopted, the question of “Who Am I?” has added impact. Children often have secret thoughts, questions, and feelings that they may be reluctant to share. Coping With Being Adopted talks about those feelings and how to manage them. It is a book to help children who are adopted to understand how it affects their life.	Yes
How it feels to be Adopted by Jill Krementz Gollancz Children’s Paperbacks, London, 1991	2 Copies available Nineteen boys and girls, from ages eight to sixteen and from every social background, confide their feelings about their feelings of being adopted.	Yes
Stick Up for Yourself! Every Kids Guide to Personal Power and Positive Self- Esteem by Gershen Kaufman,Lev Raphael, Pamela Espeland Free Spirit Publishing. Canada, (ages 8-12 ) 1999	This book is excellent and well recommended. In simple words and real-life examples, it shows you how to stick up for yourself. It tells you things you can say without putting people down, and things you can do without getting into trouble. You’ll feel better about yourself, stronger inside, and more in charge of your life. You’ll learn what’s important to you. You’ll find out about your feelings, needs, and dreams for the future. You’ll see that you’re responsible for your own behaviour and your own feelings- nobody else’s. You’ll learn positive ways to deal with strong feelings like anger, fear jealousy, and shame. And you’ll discover simple ways to “store” happiness and pride for times when you need them the most. It has given many children the power to be true to themselves, and feel secure and confident inside – no matter what.	Yes
The Kids’ Guide To Working Out Conflict by Naomi Drew free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (11 years and up) 2004	Conflict is part of being human. It’s normal and natural. It’s also a major source of stress. There are real things you can do to deal with conflict. This book is full of strategies, knowledge, understanding, and skills you need to resolve conflict, defuse tough situations, stand up for yourself and more.	Yes
What Do You Really Want- How to set a goal and go for it by Beverly Bachel free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (11 years and up) 2001	look inside to find: • why goals are worth it • find what are your dreams and what inspires you? • how to make goal setting part of your everyday life • where the best goals come from? - you • how to overcome obstacles	Yes
What Do You Stand For? A kids’ guide to building character by Barbara Lewis free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (10 years and up) 1998	This book builds positive character traits, being proud of who you are. It presents under each chapter true stories, activities, dilemmas. Here are some chapters, Getting to Know You, Positive Attitudes, Choice and Accountability, Relationships, Problem Solving, Forgiveness, Empathy, Courage, Purpose, Creativity, Integrity and Responsibility. This is truly a comprehensive workbook.	Yes
W.I.S.E. Up Powerbook by Marilyn Schoettle, C.A.S.E (The Center for Adoption Support and Education) US (ages 5-12) 2000	All kids who were adopted get asked questions about adoption. Whatever the reason- benign curiosity, ignorance, or intended insults adopted children need to know they have choices on how to respond. It is designed to work through with an adult, with practise activities included. It also helps children identify their feelings; such as, pride, joy, anger, frustration, embarrassment, confusion, and surprise. WISE stands for: • W = Walk away or choose not to pay attention • I = It’s private, you can choose who to tell • S = Share something, you can choose some information about your adoption • E = Educate, you can choose to educate others about adoption This book is a must, I well recommend it.	Yes
Write Where You are: How to use writing to make sense of your life: A guide for teens by Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (10 years and up) 1999	Discover yourself. By putting pen to paper( or fingers to keyboard), you can express your true feelings, understand yourself better, create and recreate yourself, dream wide and deep, know you’re not alone, and feel more alive. And that’s just for starters. Throughout you will find examples of writing by real teens.	Yes
Writing Down The Days - 365 creative journaling ideas for young people by Lorraine M Dahlstrom free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (12 years and up) 2000	Each day’s entry starts with a fact so young writers learn something new. They are American oriented. It inspires writing to be fun with triggers like your favourite singer, the perfect friend, and scariest movie.	Yes

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General Adoption

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adoption Wisdom – A guide to the issues and feelings of adoption by Marlou Russell, Broken Branch productions, California, US. 2000	The author is an adoptee in reunion with her birth family and a psychologist who speaks and writes of adoption. Words are shared from all people who are living adoption; adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. It includes chapters on Adoption awareness, the basis truths of adoption, search and reunion, and Ideal adoption. It provides an overview of adoption for anyone who wants to know more about the realities of adoption.	Yes
An Australian Son by Gordon Matthews, William, Heinemann, Australia. 1996	A true Australian story. Gordon was adopted at birth; he grew up in the 1950’s in Melbourne. Gordon finds out he is of Aboriginal descent and he tries to look for his natural parents. That search takes him around the world and shatters his dream. This book describes an incredible journey of self-discovery.	Yes
An Educators Guide to Adoption by Celebrate Adoption, INC, US. 1999	This is guide to increase the understanding of school teachers and education professionals about of adoption. It provides tools to deal with questions from other students, provides research on adoptees’ success in school and in life, provides resources for integrating these lessons into the curriculum, and suggests positive adoption language.	Yes
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray, Perspectives Press, Indiana, US. 2002	This book covers the full range of attachment challenges- from the transitory to the traumatic and from infancy to adulthood. The approach is positive, practical and realistic, providing age-specific advise with explanations of developmental stages for the adopted children and check- lists to help parents assess how their child is doing at each stage. The best part, for those of us who adopted before this book was published, is it’s never too late to learn.	Yes
Communicating with the Adopted Child by Miriam Komar, Walker and Company, New York, US. 1991	Communicating with the Adopted Child focuses on the importance of family conversation and the power of speech in providing both information and emotional support to the adopted child. Using examples drawn from interviews, case studies, and extensive correspondence, as well as from leading studies in the fields of psychology, sociology, and social work, Dr. Komar gives ways on how to discuss issues of adoption. How can an adoptive parent help a child understand a dual heritage? Why do adoptive parents approach discipline with such anxiety?	Yes
For Love of a Child: Stories of Adoption By Lisa Meadows Garfield, Agate Lake Publishing, White City, Oregon, US. 2005	This is a collection of real-life stories of different peoples journey of adoption shared from birthparents, adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth grandmother. The experiences cover open adoption, international adoption, reunion, and single and gay parenting. It is an easy read as each story is about 4 to 10 pages long.	Yes
I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla by Marguerite A. Wright, Jossey-Bass Inc, A Wiley Company, NY, US. 2000	I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches parents and educators of black and biracial children how to reduce racism's impact on a child's development – from preschool through to adolescence – and in doing so to raise emotionally healthy children. This is and interesting read totally American in context but helpful for cross cultural families in New Zealand. The book gives some helpful and practical suggestions for the home and school environments where skin colour is an issue. The book helps to highlight some attitudes and issues regarding race differences that we might not have been aware of previously.	Yes
Inside Transracial Adoption by Gail Steinberg & Beth Hall, Perspectives Press, Indianapolis, Indiana, US. 2000.	This book provides creative and proactive guidance for parents who are experienced veterans or who are considering transracial adoption for the first time. Whether through domestic or international adoption the authors offer helpful insights into a child’s development and understanding of adoption and all the special issues families will have to face. The book offers ‘get-real’ guidance for building close loving and very real families consisting culturally competent members of different backgrounds. Although American in context the blend of academic research, social reality and personal experience by the authors, provide an insightful book filled with many gems that touch all transracial adoptive parents universally.	Yes
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton, Basic Books, HarperCollins, New York, US. 1994	The author is an adopted person herself, who also wrote Lost and Found. She examines the adopted child’s lifelong struggle to formulate a sense of personal identity, tracing the stages of the healing journey and explaining why a search for biological roots represents a journey toward wholeness. For this book she has drawn upon 50 in depth interviews conducted with men and women adopted before 6 months of age, and over 200 essay-style questionnaires that cover the adoptees life cycle. Also she sent questionnaires to 50 birthmothers about their experience and interviewed 25 adoptive mothers. “This book is well written, a book to read and reread. It is an easy read which explores many levels of thinking. I would recommend it to all involved in adoption, including professionals.”	Yes
Lesbian and Gay Fostering and Adoption: Extraordinary Yet Ordinary by Stephen Hicks And Janet McDermott, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London. 2002	It brings together a diverse mix of lesbian and gay foster carers and adopters telling their stories, their way. At times funny, at other times poignant – the contributors relay the ordinary experiences of caring for young people. The carers are extraordinary in how they challenge traditional notions of family life and in the way they are prepared to expose their lives to ‘professional’ scrutiny.	Yes
Making Sense of Adoption – A Parent’s Guide by Lois Ruska Melina, HarperCollins New York, US. 1989	When to tell, What to tell & How to tell. Children who are adopted have predictable and often unspoken concerns about themselves and how they joined their families. This book helps parents anticipate and respond to those concerns in ways that build self-esteem. Through sample conversations parents will find answers to questions like: How do I share information that might upset my child? How can I know when my child is wondering about adoption? What should I tell school personnel about my child’s history? How can I be sure we talk about adoption enough, but not too much? This book is organised by developmental stages. It has concrete activities to do like genograms and family trees, and making a life book.	Yes
Parenting an Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only by Susan Newman, Broadway Books, Random House, New York, US. 2001	Having a single child presents unique considerations, opportunities, and advantages. The author shatters the myths of the lonely and spoiled only child. This book is not a specific adoption book, and therefore sections imply a “choice’ about your family size, eg, “making the right family size for you”, and “withstanding the pressure to have another”. However there is a good overall coverage of the critical issues.	Yes
Perspectives on a Grafted Tree: Thoughts for Those Touched by Adoption edited By Patricia Irwin Johnston, Perspective Press, US. 1983	Perspectives on a Grafted Tree is a collection of poems about adoption. These illustrated poems describe the blend of gain and loss, happiness and pain, which are all part of the adoption experience. They are written by adoptees, birthparents, members of adoptive families, and adoption professionals.	Yes
Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina, Harper & Row, New York, US. 1986	A classic in the field, here is the first child care manual for adoptive parents featuring the latest research in child development, psychology, sociology, medicine, and the experience of adoptive families to provide practical and authoritative advice. She discusses questions such as: How will attachment grow between our child and us? How does infertility affect our role as adoptive parents? What should schools be told about adopted children? How can adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated?	Yes
Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly van Gulden & Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb, Crossroad, New York, US. 1995	Real Parents, Real Children has practical advice for parents on how to talk with their children about adoption...Throughout, the special concerns and challenges of interracial, international and older-child adoptions are also addressed.	Yes
Shared Fate: A Theory and Method of Adoptive Relationships by H. David Kirk, Ben-Simon Publication, Washington, US. 1984	Shared Fate has become a classic, first written about in 1964. Continuing to challenge a pervasive mystique about adoption. Based on research with more than 2,000 families, this pioneering work on modern adoption emphasises open communication as the key to successful resolution of the adoptive family’s unique role and tasks. Its findings have stood the test of time.	Yes
Talking with Young Children About Adoption by Mary Watkins & Susan Fisher, Yale University Press, London. 1993	Current wisdom holds that adoptive parents should talk with their child about adoption as early as possible. But no guidelines exist to prepare parents for the various ways their children might respond when these conversations take place. In this book, a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist, both adoptive mothers, discuss how young children make sense of the fact that they are adopted, how it might appear in their play, and what worries them and their parents may have. Accounts by twenty adoptive parents of conversations about adoption with their children, from age’s two to ten, graphically convey what the process of sharing about adoption is like.	Yes
The Adoption Life Cycle: The Children and Their Families Through the Years by Elinor B. Rosenberg, Free Press, New York, US. 1992	Adoption has become the subject of intense controversy, yet few reformers have been able to reach a consensus. In this first book to take into account all the issues surrounding the adoption debate, Rosenberg throws new light on what adoption means for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents at every stage of life.	Yes
The Adoption Reader: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories by Susan Wadia-Ells, The Women’s Press, London. 1996	More than thirty birth mothers, adoptive mothers and adopted daughters share their experiences of adoption and explore such issues as open adoption, cross-cultural adoption, birth records, and adoption by lesbians.	Yes
The Color of Water by James McBride, Sceptre, Sydney. 1997	A memoirs written by a black American man who was adopted by a black father and a white woman. McBride was an adult before he discovered the truth about his mother: the daughter of a failed itinerant Orthodox rabbi in rural Virginia, she had run away to Harlem, married a black man, and founded an all-black Baptist church in her living room. She tells in her own words the story of her past. James McBride has written a powerful portrait with race, identity, and adoption all being a part of his growing up. A beautifully uplifting tribute from a son to his mother.	Yes
The Family of Adoption by Joyce Maguire Pavao, Beacon Press, Boston, US. 1998	The author was adopted and has over 30 years experience as a counselor in the adoption field. This is an insightful and at times moving book. She has shared many peoples adoption stories from her professional experiences highlighting psychological, social dynamics and developmental stages of adoption. This is not a text book it is a very good read.	Yes
The Other Mother By Carol Schaefer, Soho Press, Inc. NY, US 1991	A true story based on the experiences of a birth mother relinquishing her baby for adoption in 1965, then searching for him 19 years later. This book provides insight and understanding into the emotions and life altering decisions of a closed adoption of all parties involved, including the birth father. An easy, engrossing read, that tugs at the heart. Made into a TV movie.	Yes
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Newton Verrier, Gateway, Baltimore, US. 1991	This book discusses attachment, bonding and loss; it clarifies the effects of separation from the birthmother on adopted children. It gives those children, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behaviour. She describes there is a lot of research that confirms new born babies have all their senses at birth, and that they feel on both the physical and emotional level. Babies do feel the loss of their first mother to whom they were connected too. This loss needs to be acknowledged, respected and honoured throughout life. Adoption is seen to be a happy event, which calls for celebration, it is also true that there is loss involved, loss that needs to be mourned. It is the only trauma and loss in our society where the person is expected to be grateful, and they are not given permission to grieve the original abandonment and loss. Verrier explained, “I have had to face the fact that I can never take the place of her birthmother. And in concert with that, I have had to realise that neither could I take away her pain… that she would have to work it through herself.” Understanding, acceptance, empathy and communication are the keys to the journey of feeling whole, empowered, connected and healed. This book has many emotional and practical levels to it. It is definitely worth a read in my opinion. A book to reread at different points along the way. It is a well-recognised book in the adoption field, a classic.	Yes
Twenty Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need To Make by Sherrie Eldridge, Pinon Press, Colorado, US. 2003	Why was I given up ? Was I unworthy for some reason ? Even if you grew up in an open, loving adoptive home you may be asking some questions. The author has interviewed more than 70 adoptees who share their stories. It is for and by adoptees. It is based on the fact that adoption raises some of life’s most difficult questions but also creates opportunities to truly understand yourself and heal.	Yes
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge, Dell Publishishing, Random House, New York, US. 1999	The voices of adopted children are questioning and they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. Written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children’s unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids form feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. It provides insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories. A guide to complex emotions.	Yes

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Open Adoption

Details	Description/Review	Available?
A Birthparent’s Book of Memories by Brenda Romanchik, Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support, US. 2003	Benda Romanchik is a birthmother. This is a baby record book for birthmothers. This book was purchased for the OPAN library for two reasons; - for adoptive parents to get ideas of questions to ask their birth family to be used in your child’s baby book record, or for conversation in the beginning stages of forming a relationship. - for a gift idea from adoptive parents to their birthparent/s to record for themselves their baby book. (Or to tell them that this book exists so they may purchase it themselves). There are lots of treasures in the book, about birth parents childhood, things birthparent is proud of, things birthparent value in a friendship, hopes and dreams, most valued possession, about wider family, family favourite recipes, important people in you life, about pregnancy (kicks, heartbeat, ultra sound, cravings,) thoughts on how she chose you as adoptive parents, what most impressed her/him, things birth parents want child to know, a place to record open adoption visits.	Yes
Adoption is a Family Affair, What Friends and Relatives Must Know by Patricia Irwin Johnston, Perspectives Press, Inc, Indiana, US. 2001	I well recommend this book for people who waiting to adopt, and for your families and friends. It gives clear ways people can support you through out your adoption journey. This book is crammed full of what relatives and friends must know in order to welcome a new member of the clan with enthusiasm. There is also a good section on positive adoption language. It will answer your many questions, offering information about who can adopt, why they consider adopting, about open adoption, how kids understand adoption as they grow up, and the legality and permanence of adoption.	Yes
Adoption Without Fear ed. by James L. Gritter, Corona, San Antonio, US. 1989	The author is considered to be a pioneer in Open adoption in the United States. This book brings together the emotional first-person accounts of seventeen families who have taken the option of open adoption. The book emerged because, as they gathered to prepare themselves for a second adoption, they were convinced that others could draw strength from their experiences. As part of their stories the couples share their initial views, anxieties and fears of open adoption, and how they became passionate supporters of open adoption based on their own experiences. Powerful stories showing that when everyone meets, the adoptive parents are far greater in touch with the loss experienced by the birth mother/father, and they have an understanding of her need to know how her child is.	Yes
Be My Baby by Gail Kinn, Artisan, New York, US. 2000	In their own words, parents consider and speak about how their families came together and how they are coming along. In a section devoted to the thoughts of adopted children from 9 to 19, kids tell what’s on their minds, and how it feels to be adopted. In another part of the book adult children look back on their lives, speaking of different life passages and how much or how little adoption has affected them, their contentment and challenges. Children also speak of the importance of knowing about birthparents in order to better know themselves. Finally, birthmothers speak of their love and concern for the children they chose not to raise themselves. “This book you could have sitting on the coffee table. It is beautifully published with stunning, natural black and white photographs throughout. The life stories shared are in the first person, revealing their truth and wisdom. The experiences are America, covering closed, open and inter-racial adoptions.”	Yes
Birthparent Grief by Brenda Romanchik, Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support, US. 1999	Romanchick is a birthmother of open adoption. This is an open adoption pocket guide book of grief from a birthparents perspective. A good insight for anyone living adoption.	Yes
Children of Open Adoption and their Families by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner, Corona Publishing Company, US. 1990	One persistent question, what is the effect of open adoption on the children? This book begins to answer this complicated question. Examining many actual adoption experiences, they focus, in separate chapters, infants, preschoolers, school-age children and teenagers.	Yes
Life Givers – framing the birthparent experience in open adoption by James Gritter, Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC 2000	James Gritter is a well renowned author and counsellor in open adoption. I personally like his writing style. He examines all the ways in which birthparents are marginalized. He provides a glimpse of birthparents’ struggle with grief, ambivalence, and regret. He encourages if adoption is in the best interest of the child, adopted children are best served when birthparents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that the birthparents remain a part of their children’s lives. He further highlights everyone involved in adoption process needs to be honoured and respected. Personally I find James Gritter the current best writer regarding open adoption.	Yes
Open Adoption: A Caring Option by Jeanne Warren Lindsay, Morning Glory Press, California 1987	This book presents the concept of open adoption from a highly positive viewpoint. Its definition of open adoption strongly emphasises the need for counseling, both for the birthparents and the adoptive parents. Using personal narratives, the book thoroughly explains the advantages and disadvantages of this approach to adoption. Specific agency examples are given to illustrate the process.	Yes
Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections by Harold D. Grotevant & Ruth G. McRoy, SAGE Publications, California, US. 1998	“This book provides a comprehensive review of the issues involved in openness in adoption. It also provides rich data from an exceptional sample of adoptees, their adoptive parents, and their birthmothers, and it provides a perspective on the experience of each of these members of the adoption triad. A must-read for professionals and laypersons alike who are interested in the adoption field.”—Kim Chisholm, Department of Psychology, St. Francis Xavier University.	Yes
Reaching Out- the guide to writing a terrific Dear Birthmother Letter by Nelson Handel, EasternEdge Press, LA, US. 2002	This book is a tool for writing your Profile to becoming adoptive parents. It helps you know your audience, clarify your goals and have confidence in what you present. I have had good feedback from a couple that have just read it. It helped them fine tune what they wanted to present.	Yes
Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolfe, Vista Communications, Honolulu, US. 1997	This is a very honest book of an adoptive mothers feelings from the beginning of the adoption process to when her child is 5 years old. Jana style of writing uses humour, simplicity and clarity -an easy read. Their adoption is a transracial one and she clearly discusses the racism they encounter. She raises many questions, Will she want him back? Will my child ever feel like mine? Why this baby? Meeting your child’s mother, what do you wear, what do you say, how do you look without starring? This is a different experience from NZ adoptions, in that they met the birth mother a few months prior to the birth and attended the birth. I found it was great to read the feelings she expressed in such simple language. You may not relate to all her feelings, however I’m sure will find common ground.	Yes
The Open Adoption Book – A Guide to Making Adoption Work for You by Bruce M Rapport, Macmillan Publishing Company,NY, US. 1992	What to expect if you decide on open adoption, Why open adoption is preferable for both parents and children, What birthmothers, adoptive parents and children say about their open adoption experience. These are all covered in this book. It presents many honest vignettes that you will probably relate to well.	Yes
The Open Adoption Experience: A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families—From Making the Decision Through the Child’s Growing Years by Lois Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia, HarperCollins Publisher, New York, US. 1993	(Also in the library as a cassette tape.) Two leading experts who are both adoptive parents provide an authoritative and reassuring guide to the issues and concerns of adoptive and birth families through all stages of the open adoption relationship. It covers the connection between birth families and adoptive families, what happens when the connection is acknowledged openly, and how to nurture the relationship over time. It discusses the advantages and common problems, and how relationships in adoption are dynamic and change over time. “A great book for anyone considering or involved in open adoption”.	Yes
The Spirit of Open Adoption by James Gritter, CWLA Press, Washington DC, US. 1997	With the primary emphasis on benefiting adoptees, open adoption serves children first by reversing the traditional hierarchy, treating adoptive families as resources for birth families. Adoptive parents, birthparents and adoptees come together in a spirit of extended family that helps overcome the fear, pain, shame, and loss of adoption with honour, respect and reverence. Gritter explores the candor, commitment, community, and cooperation that define successful open adoptions.	Yes
Within Me, Without Me By Sue Wells, Scarlet Press, London, UK. 1994	This is a collection of personal stories by mothers who have given up children for adoption. They span 40 years and cover NZ and UK experiences. The book is divided into four sections; Clean break adoptions, Reunions, (the first 2 sections are mainly of women in the 1960’s and 1970’s who gave up children for adoption to strangers in NZ an UK), Semi open adoptions, and Open adoptions. The author is a birth mother who was born in NZ who now lives in Bristol.	Yes

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For BirthParents/About BirthParents

Details	Description/Review	Available?
A Birthparent’s Book of Memories by Brenda Romanchik, Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support, US. 2003	Brenda Romanchik is a birthmother. This is a baby record book for birthmothers. This book was purchased for the Opan library for two reasons; o for adoptive parents to get ideas of questions to ask their birth family to be used in your child’s baby book record, or for conversation in the beginning stages of forming a relationship. o for a gift idea from adoptive parents to their birthparent/s to record for themselves their baby book. (Or to tell them that this book exists so they may purchase it themselves). There are lots of treasures in the book, about birth parents childhood, things birthparent is proud of, things birthparent value in a friendship, hopes and dreams, most valued possession, about wider family, family favourite recipes, important people in you life, about pregnancy (kicks, heartbeat, ultra sound, cravings,) thoughts on how she chose you as adoptive parents, what most impressed her/him, things birth parents want child to know, a place to record open adoption visits.	Yes
Be My Baby by Gail Kinn, Artisan, New York, US. 2000	In their own words, parents consider and speak about how their families came together and how they are coming along. In a section devoted to the thoughts of adopted children from 9 to 19, kids tell what’s on their minds, and how it feels to be adopted. In another part of the book adult children look back on their lives, speaking of different life passages and how much or how little adoption has affected them, their contentment and challenges. Children also speak of the importance of knowing about birthparents in order to better know themselves. Finally, birthmothers speak of their love and concern for the children they chose not to raise themselves. “This book you could have sitting on the coffee table. It is beautifully published with stunning, natural black and white photographs throughout. The life stories shared are in the first person, revealing their truth and wisdom. The experiences are America, covering closed, open and inter-racial adoptions.”	Yes
Birthparent Grief by Brenda Romanchik, Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support, US. 1999	Romanchick is a birthmother of open adoption. This is an open adoption pocket guide book of grief from a birthparents perspective. A good insight for anyone living adoption.	Yes
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton, Basic Books, HarperCollins, New York, US. 1994	The author is an adopted person herself, who also wrote Lost and Found. She examines the adopted child’s lifelong struggle to formulate a sense of personal identity, tracing the stages of the healing journey and explaining why a search for biological roots represents a journey toward wholeness. For this book she has drawn upon 50 in depth interviews conducted with men and women adopted before 6 months of age, and over 200 essay-style questionnaires that cover the adoptees life cycle. Also she sent questionnaires to 50 birthmothers about their experience and interviewed 25 adoptive mothers. “This book is well written, a book to read and reread. It is an easy read which explores many levels of thinking. I would recommend it to all involved in adoption, including professionals.”	Yes
Life Givers – framing the birthparent experience in open adoption by James Gritter, Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC 2000	James Gritter is a well renowned author and counsellor in open adoption. I personally like his writing style. He examines all the ways in which birthparents are marginalized. He provides a glimpse of birthparents’ struggle with grief, ambivalence, and regret. He encourages if adoption is in the best interest of the child, adopted children are best served when birthparents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that the birthparents remain a part of their children’s lives. He further highlights everyone involved in adoption process needs to be honoured and respected.	Yes
Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections by Harold D. Grotevant & Ruth G. McRoy, SAGE Publications, California, US. 1998	“This book provides a comprehensive review of the issues involved in openness in adoption. It also provides rich data from an exceptional sample of adoptees, their adoptive parents, and their birthmothers, and it provides a perspective on the experience of each of these members of the adoption triad. A must-read for professionals and laypersons alike who are interested in the adoption field.”—Kim Chisholm, Department of Psychology, St. Francis Xavier University. Personally I find James Gritter the current best writer regarding open adoption.	Yes
Perspectives on a Grafted Tree: Thoughts for Those Touched by Adoption edited By Patricia Irwin Johnston, Perspective Press, US. 1983	Perspectives on a Grafted Tree is a collection of poems about adoption. These illustrated poems describe the blend of gain and loss, happiness and pain, which are all part of the adoption experience. They are written by adoptees, birthparents, members of adoptive families, and adoption professionals.	Yes
Saying Goodbye to a Baby: Volume 1- The Birthparent’s Guide to loss and grief in adoption by Patricia Roles, Child Welfare League of America, Washington, DC 1989	Written for birthparents about adoption grief. A good overall beginning of acknowledging the loss involved. However it does not address grief that is specific to open adoption, e.g., feelings that may arise when you are with your child or when you leave. This is a quick read and it would be good for adoptive parents to read to appreciate some sensitive areas.	Yes
The Adoption Reader: Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers and Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories by Susan Wadia-Ells, The Women’s Press, London 1996	More than thirty birth mothers, adoptive mothers and adopted daughters share their experiences of adoption and explore such issues as open adoption, cross-cultural adoption, birth records, and adoption by lesbians.	Yes
The Open Adoption Book – A Guide to Making Adoption Work for You by Bruce M Rapport, Macmillan Publishing Company,NY, US. 1992	What to expect if you decide on open adoption, Why open adoption is preferable for both parents and children, What birthmothers, adoptive parents and children say about their open adoption experience. These are all covered in this book. It presents many honest vignettes that you will probably relate to well.	Yes
The Open Adoption Experience: A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families—From Making the Decision Through the Child’s Growing Years by Lois Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia, HarperCollins Publisher, New York, US. 1993	(Also in the library as a cassette tape.) Two leading experts who are both adoptive parents provide an authoritative and reassuring guide to the issues and concerns of adoptive and birth families through all stages of the open adoption relationship. It covers the connection between birth families and adoptive families, what happens when the connection is acknowledged openly, and how to nurture the relationship over time. It discusses the advantages and common problems, and how relationships in adoption are dynamic and change over time. “A great book for anyone considering or involved in open adoption”.	Yes
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child by Nancy Newton Verrier, Gateway, Baltimore 1991	This book discusses attachment, bonding and loss; it clarifies the effects of separation from the birthmother on adopted children. It gives those children, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behaviour. She describes there is a lot of research that confirms new born babies have all their senses at birth, and that they feel on both the physical and emotional level. Babies do feel the loss of their first mother to whom they were connected too. This loss needs to be acknowledged, respected and honoured throughout life. Adoption is seen to be a happy event, which calls for celebration, it is also true that there is loss involved, loss that needs to be mourned. It is the only trauma and loss in our society where the person is expected to be grateful, and they are not given permission to grieve the original abandonment and loss. Verrier explained, “I have had to face the fact that I can never take the place of her birthmother. And in concert with that, I have had to realise that neither could I take away her pain… that she would have to work it through herself.” Understanding, acceptance, empathy and communication are the keys to the journey of feeling whole, empowered, connected and healed. This book has many emotional and practical levels to it. It is definitely worth a read in my opinion. A book to reread at different points along the way. It is a well-recognised book in the adoption field, a classic.	Yes
The Spirit of Open Adoption by James Gritter, CWLA Press, Washington DC, US. 1997	With the primary emphasis on benefiting adoptees, open adoption serves children first by reversing the traditional hierarchy, treating adoptive families as resources for birth families. Adoptive parents, birthparents and adoptees come together in a spirit of extended family that helps overcome the fear, pain, shame, and loss of adoption with honour, respect and reverence. Gritter explores the candor, commitment, community, and cooperation that define successful open adoptions.	Yes
Within Me, Without Me By Sue Wells, Scarlet Press, London, UK. 1994	This is a collection of personal stories by mothers who have given up children for adoption. They span 40 years and cover NZ and UK experiences. The book is divided into four sections; Clean break adoptions, Reunions, (the first 2 sections are mainly of women in the 1960’s and 1970’s who gave up children for adoption to strangers in NZ an UK), Semi open adoptions, and Open adoptions. The author is a birth mother who was born in NZ who now lives in Bristol.	Yes

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Infertility

Picture	Details	Description/Review	Available?
	Adopting After Infertility by Patricia Irwin Johnston Perspective Press, US. 1992	While there are many books that explain the adoption process, none of them explore with much depth the issues that adoptive parents must deal with before making choices about what type of child and what type of adoption to pursue. Adopting after Infertility fills that gap. Johnston, who is well known in the infertility and adoption communities for her work in those fields, is the natural choice for a book of this type. Her chatty style makes for easy reading.	Yes

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The Challenges of Children and Parenting

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-Needs Kids by Gregory Keck & Regina Kupecky Pinon Press, Colorado, US. 1995	“Adopting the Hurt Child thoroughly and realistically examines many issues affecting adoptive families. Through readable prose interspersed with actual case histories, the authors clearly outline the challenges of special-needs children, but also suggest ways in which parents can work with children to help them make sense of their past and build a better future.”—Joe Kroll, executive director, North American Council on Adoptable Children.	Yes
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray Perspectives Press, Indiana, US. 2002	This book covers the full range of attachment challenges- from the transitory to the traumatic and from infancy to adulthood. The approach is positive, practical and realistic, providing age-specific advise with explanations of developmental stages for the adopted children and check- lists to help parents assess how their child is doing at each stage. The best part, for those of us who adopted before this book was published, is it’s never too late to learn.	Yes
Children with Prenatal Alcohol and/or Other Drug Exposure: Weighing the Risks of Adoption by Susan B Edelstein CWLA Press, Washington, DC, US. 1995	Just as the decision to adopt should be made with thought and care- after considerable reflection, discussion, and gathering of information- the decision to adopt a child with prenatal alcohol and/or other drug exposure should be made only after consideration of the added challenges. Although designed primarily for professionals, this book offers practical suggestions and recommendations if you are considering adopting an infant or child who has been prenatally exposed to alcohol and/or other drugs.	Yes
Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss by Claudia Jewett Jarrett Harvard Common Press, Boston, US. 1994	The Chapters are as follows: • Telling Children about Loss • Helping Children Face Change • Understanding and Supporting Grief • Facilitating the Grief Process; sadness, anger, and aggression • Responding to Problems of Self Esteem & Control • Looking Back, Letting Go & Moving On This is a step by step guide for anyone who wants to help their child talk about, cope with, and recover from loss.	Yes
Jump Starters- Quick classroom activities that develop self-esteem, creativity, and cooperation by Linda Nason McElherne free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (for parents of 7 year olds and up) 1999	From “Proud to Be Me” to “Getting to Know You”, “Making Peace”, “Managing My Time”, Imaging My Future”, Solving Problems”, and Handling Teasing”, and many more. They’ll gain a better understanding of themselves and others.	Yes
Lost Children: Separation and Loss Between Children and Parents by Louise J Kaplan HarperCollins, US. 1995	There is a constant component of loss within the attachment between parents and children. Such loss can come in many forms: loss through divorce, loss through neglect (either emotional or physical), loss through disappearance, loss through death. Kaplan weaves insightful case studies across analyses of cultures past and present. In doing so, she demonstrates that while the conventions surrounding loss and death—grieving and burial and mourning—declare finality, they are also ways of continuing our dialogues with the absent and the dead which, unconsciously at least, are eternal.	Yes
Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me- The top 25 friendship problems and how to solve them by Michele Borba, Jossey-Bass Wiley, San Francisco, US, (for parents of 4-15 year olds) 2005	A book to boost your child’s social competence and friendship building skills. • Do you wish your kid had more friends or could keep more friends? • Is teasing, gossiping, bullying, or cyber-bullying a problem? • Is she often left out or rejected by other kids? • Does he just follow the crowd? Are you concerned about his friends? • Does she complain she is unpopular or nobody likes her? • Are you at a loss for how to help your child those play dates, being shy, too sensitive, too competitive, or having a bad reputation?	Yes
Parenting an Only Child: The Joys and Challenges of Raising Your One and Only by Susan Newman Broadway Books, Random House, New York, US. 2001	Having a single child presents unique considerations, opportunities, and advantages. The author shatters the myths of the lonely and spoiled only child. This book is not a specific adoption book, and therefore sections imply a “choice’ about your family size, eg, “making the right family size for you”, and “withstanding the pressure to have another”. However there is a good overall coverage of the critical issues.	Yes
The Bully Free Classroom- over 100 tips and strategies for teachers by Allan Beane free spirit publishing, Minneapolis, US, (for parents of 7 year olds and up) 1999	There are many prevention and intervention strategies for students who are teased, intimidated, harassed and hurt by other students. It empowers students to stick up for themselves, break the code of silence, build self-esteem, empathy, resolve conflicts positively, and take responsibility for their behaviour. Although this book is designed for the classroom it can be used at home, or parents can offer it to teachers as a resource if this is affecting your child.	Yes

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New Zealand Adoption

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adoption and its Alternatives – A Different Approach and a New Framework – Law Commission Report 65, September 2000, Wellington NZ		Yes
Adoption New Zealand The Never Ending Story by Sheryn Gillard-Glass and Jan England, Harper Collins Publishers, NZ 2002	In Adoption New Zealand people whose lives have been affected by adoption reveal the impact it has had on them. Birth mothers tell of the trauma they faced: stigma, pain of separation, and in the case of closed adoptions, knowing they would never see their child again. The stories of the adopted men and women are as varied as the individuals, but many speak of the doubt of their identity, and the difficulty of trying to establish a relationship with birth parents, once traced. Adoptive parents tell of their joy at having a child- frequently offset by doubt over their parenting abilities, and sometimes uneasiness when their children decide to search for their birth parents.	Yes
Adoption: Options and Reform – Law Commission, A discussion paper – Preliminary Paper 38, October 1999, Wellington NZ		Yes
Benjamin’s Story, Being an E.S.P. (Extra Special Person)	An adoptive parent’s personal booklet she made for her son that can be used as a model for those who would like to do the same.	Yes
Love Has No Borders—True Stories of the Tragedy and Triumph Behind Intercountry Adoption ed. by Rachel Stace, Howling at the Moon Productions Ltd, New Zealand 1997	This book came about as the result of a documentary Rachel Stace (one of the founding members of OPAN) made about intercountry adoption called “Instant Families”. By the time the documentary was finished she had amassed far more information than she could use in the programme so she decided to put together a book about people’s experiences of intercountry adoption covering a wide range of situations and countries. Sixteen adopting families agreed to share their stories in their own words.	Yes
My Special Family – Priya’s Book About Her Adoption by Carol & Malcolm Miller (OPAN Members) 2002	Their own personalised story for their child, a guide for other parents to write their own adoption stories.	Yes
New Zealand Adoption, History and Practice, Social and Legal 1840-1996 by Keith C. Griffith (This is a very large loose-leaf binder) 1997	“This monumental work on adoption and the complex issues surrounding it has itself been a labour of great love. The 36 pages of closely printed index is one clue to the enormous amount of research behind this comprehensive presentation of the history of adoption in all its aspects. It contains hard statistical data illuminated by graphs, and summaries of all the judgments made by various courts throughout the whole history of adoption in New Zealand. It traces the changes in social attitudes. It deals with numerous associated questions, including surrogacy, new birth technologies, abortion, and genetics. It has an illuminating section on Maori adoption. There are personal histories, a section on grief and loss. It is up-to-the minute covering the latest developments, including the section on inter-country adoption.”—Patrick Mahoney, Principal Family Court Judge.	Yes
Rewriting the Script—An Adoption Story by Rod Holm, the Dunmore Press, New Zealand 1994	2 Copies Available This is a father’s personal story about the son he and his wife adopted in 1973 in a closed situation, and how they attempted to open it when their son was eleven years old. This is a journey of loss, grief and despair and the attempt to transcend it. The accidental deaths of two friends reopened the wound and plunged him into profound adolescent despair.	Yes

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Inter-Country Adoption

Picture	Details	Description/Review	Available?
	Love Has No Borders—True Stories of the Tragedy and Triumph Behind Intercountry Adoption ed. by Rachel Stace, Howling at the Moon Productions Ltd, New Zealand 1997	A New Zealand Book This book came about as the result of a documentary Rachel Stace (one of the founding members of OPAN) made about intercountry adoption called “Instant Families”. By the time the documentary was finished she had amassed far more information than she could use in the programme so she decided to put together a book about people’s experiences of intercountry adoption covering a wide range of situations and countries. Sixteen adopting families agreed to share their stories in their own words.	Yes
	ICANZ: The Magazine of Intercountry Adoption	Various issues.	Yes

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Booklets

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adopted Person Resource by Keith C. Griffith, Adoption Resource Seminar, Auckland, Spiral Bound August 1998,		Yes
Adoption: Past, Present & Future Ed Pauline J Morris, Uniprint, Auckland, June 1994	Proceedings and Miscellaneous Items of the Conference presented by MOA (Movement out of Adoption).	Yes
Adoption: The Real Alternative by Tracey-Lee 1993	Written by a former client of the Catholic Family Welfare Bureau, this booklet was based on the notes Tracey-Lee prepared for a talk to prospective adoptive parents about her personal experiences as an adoptee.	Yes
Adoptive Parents: A Link in the Healing Process of Adoption by Susan Mann	A typed article.	Yes
A Workbook for Prospective Adoptive Parents Child Youth and Family 2000	Day 1, Day 2 and Day 3 workbook. (Now out of date).	Yes
Given in Love: For Mothers Who Are Choosing An Adoption Plan by Maureen Connolly, Centering Corporation, New Zealand 1990	2 Copies available This booklet is designed to help birthmothers prepare for the separation and loss of their child, and to support them during the grief that they may experience.	Yes
Painful Lessons, Loving Bonds: The Heart of Open Adoption by Marcy Wineman Axness	This booklet offers insight into such issues as how parents can create a truly intimate relationship with their adopted children, the ethics and philosophy of open adoption, and how we should respond when birth parents “reclaim” their children.	Yes
Introduction to Open Adoption 1997	A typed article.	Yes

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Newsletter, Catalogues & Magazines

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Adopted Child Newsletters, US ed. by Lois Melina	Various issues.	Yes
Adoptive Families Magazines, US		Yes
ICANZ: The Magazine of Intercountry Adoption, New Zealand (various issues)		Yes
Issues: Newsletter for All Those Affected by Adoption, New Zealand (various issues)		Yes
OPAN Newsletters	Archive newsletters (most copies).	Yes
Open Adoption, A Contemporary View Next magazine, New Zealand, August 2002		Yes
The Best of Adopted Child Newsletter ed. by Lois Melina, US	• Birth Parents, Heredity & Environment • Bonding and Attachment in Adoptive Families • The Growing Years • Issues Adopted Children Face in School	Yes
The Baby Chase, The Australian Women’s Weekly		Yes

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Cassettes, Videos, CDs & DVDs

Details	Description/Review	Available?
Answering Your Child’s Questions About Adoption by Lois Melina		Yes
Good Manners in Open Adoption by Lois Melina		Yes
The Open Adoption Experience: A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families—From Making the Decision Through the Child’s Growing Years by Lois Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia, US	Also a book in the library.	Yes

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OPAN

Library

Charges:

Notes:

Book Categories:

Childrens Books for Younger Children

Childrens Books – Thinking About BirthParents

Childrens Books – Siblings (Biological and Adopted)

Books for Preteens and Teens

General Adoption

Open Adoption

For BirthParents/About BirthParents

Infertility

The Challenges of Children and Parenting

New Zealand Adoption

Inter-Country Adoption

Booklets

Newsletter, Catalogues & Magazines

Cassettes, Videos, CDs & DVDs

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